:: June 2010 ::
:: Stuff Dumb People Like: The Latest Apple Product ::
"I stood in line for three hours to be the first guy in town to get the new iPhone. Man, is it ever cool!"
Ah the dumb people; they stand in line, they blog, they tweet, they post videos and, of course, they tell us about their latest Apple product purchase. For the sake of humanity, give us a break.
It's great that you are excited about your new toy. Gee, does it really take photos and let you talk to people? That's really great. Do you do that a lot? Wow, my phone just lets me talk to people.
I bought a new cell phone a few weeks ago and was pretty happy about my purchase, but I didn't tell anybody about it. I just fired it up and started using it and nobody knew but me. And why didn't I tell anybody you ask? I guess it's because I wasn't looking for acceptance from the trendy crowd (read "dumb folks").
Of course if I had purchased a brand-spanking-new Apple product, like all the other dumb people on the planet, I would have to tell folks about it too. As far as I can tell, that's why you buy the latest iPhone or iPad or iWhatever. It's so the cool folks will accept you. And if you are looking for acceptance you have to advertise yourself.
So, bright boy, what happens when, in two weeks when Apple brings out the next version of the iPhone? Will you shut up about your phone or will you be spending even more cash for a few moments of acceptance?
Ya, you call me and let me know about that. I'll be out spending my money elsewhere.
:: May 2010 ::
:: Stuff Dumb People Like: Talking about the Weather ::
Hey Chuck, is it hot enough for ya?
Yes, the weather. It's the topic of choice among dumb people everywhere. They just can't get enough of it. It's almost as appealing to talk about the weather as it is to talk about a car wreck. It nearly qualifies as news - well it is if you don't really apply the definition of news - the part about it being a relevant, changing event. Sure some days the weather qualifies as news, the days when a tornado strikes or rain causes a horrific flood. But other than that, does the weather really ever change enough to be an "event". Hmmm, guess not eh?
So, the thesis is such: The weather is just a boring daily event that dumb people talk about - endlessly.
Granted, some days dumb people strike it rich. Those are the days where the weather does cooperate and the current weather related disaster actually warrants a conversation over the water cooler. So out o!
f the standard 250 work days a year when you have to stand by the water cooler to discuss the sun shining or having to wear a tuque (a knit cap for you non Canadians) to work today, you can legitimately claim to have an intelligent conversation at least a half dozen times. Heck, think of the mileage that the dumb people got out of the Katrina hurricane or the Tsunami a few years ago. Thank goodness for those real weather events to legitimize all the gabbing.
If talking about the weather is so dumb why do we do it? That's an easy question. It's because it's so easy to do that any idiot can do it. Talking about the weather is so simple that a child of three can converse at the same level as a 60 year old PHD candidate. Once you have the concepts of warm and cold, wet and dry figured out; you're good to go. Think about it. If everyone understood how politics worked we could totally forget about the weather. We would be able to drone on continually about our inept politicians. Granted, that's a crappy example. We already do that. Even three year olds understand that politics sucks.
Gotta go, it looks like rain...
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